Wow, just WOW. Was just surfing the net before starting work and got this urge to look for all my past blogs. I was both amazed and amused. Life was actually that simple, that easy and that... naive? I enjoy blogging, enjoy telling stories of my life and most importantly I find that I love talking to myself. I find it funny and amusing. When I looked back, it was all fond memories of my childhood!
After 14 years, I'm back at blogging again. This time round, I'm no longer that simple minded, easy and carefree Poly student. I'm now 32 years old with a family and two lovely boys. Boys who drove me crazy time and time again. Financially, physically and mentally taxing me, worrying about different things in life.
Life was that simple... I miss being less angry, less frustrated and less worrying. During this 14 years, my life has changed so much. Dated someone 8 years older than me when I was 21, got married, changed my job, had 2 kids, lost my pet and lost my dad. Reflecting back the last 14 years, it seemed so long, so far away but I feel surreal. It seemed like just yesterday, when I met my hubby, it seemed like just yesterday, I got married.... etc... but in fact, it's been years.
It's year 2021, and it's been 2 years since Covid-19 ruined all our lives. My kids got to stay home most of the time and we couldn't go ahead with any field trips or family trip as much as I craved for. Working from home regime started and my kids stopped school for a month. The situation isn't improving and with them at home while I need to work is horrendous. They seek my attention every min, hungry every hour and I have different kinds of weird requests every 2 hours.
Another thing that I came to realise only when I'm this "young" would be the definition of Love. My hubby and I started the relation with pure love. That simplest love and yearned for each other everyday. It's been 11 years together and we are married for the 7th year. I feel that "Love" was put aside for other more important matters. The kids, the family financial, the "operational and functionality" of the family. It's more on the commitment and the responsibility that is tying us together. Many a times I asked myself, "Do I still love him?". Many a times I do not have an answer because I prioritise all other things above him. I buried the Love under all other things to the point that I, myself, couldn't even see it.
However, I feel Love is still the most important factor in a family. I want to find back the love, I want to feel that kind of spark all over again. But how? It doesn't take 1 hand to clap and I only have 24 hours a day. That's so many things I wanna fulfil in a day, but time is not enough.
Adulting is a headache yeah?
Till then!
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