My love.

well, i had my first birthday cake for my 18th birthday hours ago. (: all started from me, going down. and im dumb enough to not to realise that the two lovely angels discuss about it. and im also dumb to believe that they wanted to close shop sooooo early because siti got to accompany her sister alone at home. waha! when siti is closing the shutter, FookGuan says he needs the toilet. but i saw him walking downstairs. and i thought, maybe he prefer the toilet downstairs. HAHA. then, when siti knows that he's gone, can see that she was shocked. waha. when im serving ice cream to our neighbour, siti says she needs the toilet and she went off. after very long time, i felt werid. haha. but before i drop into any conclusion, the two lovely angels came back with lighted candles on a lovely cake. (: you two, wahha! (: thankyou! and you two really made my day! (: this shop is superb full of Joy. Siti, ThankYOU! and i LOVE you! my super best friend! *pssssss. my first malay close friend! wh

well, today ends the semester one. and i SHOULD go to the hospital today.. but my mom wants me to buy groceries, there for, she says, NO NEED TO GO EVERYDAY. im utterly disappointed anyway. sigh.. is groceries sooo much important than beloved grandma? sigh.. dun wait till we can't do anything, but regret. sooooooooo diasppointed. anyway, i went back to mjr this afternoon, after my exam.. saw majority of the teachers. and met most of the 5A people. well, can see that they're still the same, and fine. (: in the end, Wenbin,Timothy, Yixun, Calvin, KherMeng and i went to disturb Ms Ng and Ms Tan. this two teachers machiam our friends. haha. but they're nice though. wheeeee. wahaha. Poor Ms Ng, kenna bullied by me all the while. and guess wad? in the end, Wenbin, Calvin, Timothy, YiXun and i went bugis with MsNG and MsTan for lunch. (: crap, and brought back many many memories. that was then.. whenever wenbin, timo, jas and i were talking at that corner, MsNg*kimberly will defin

and doctor saved her. but she's not very well though. and doctor told us to get prepared. no, i can't take it Lord. i don't want her to leave. please, please bless her Lord. she's so dear to me. i can't take it if she's really gone forever. i was jogging this evening, and gotten the news from my dad when i reached home. bathe, and took cab down to the hospital. she's with oxygen thingy. during shower, i prayed to God. i prayed and prayed, juz to realised, emotion controlled me. haha. and even now. the more i talk about it, the more sad and the more tears i flow. even in cab. i tried to hold. but they juz flow. i tried to control on the way up to the ward. when i saw her, she looks fine. and i saw my 2nd uncle. he hasn't been home for 10 years. and now i saw him. (: anyway, doctor said, she might recover, and might go. all we can do now is PRAY, PRAY and PRAY. thanks Astro, you did cheered me up. thanks Amy, for the super caring voice. Dear Lord, i dun wi

greatly, im a good girl today. i stayed at home to study and mug for my last paper tomorrow. (: honestly, tomorrow's paper is the most no-confidence one. SIAN. and, majority of my lovely ones end today. that also explains why i can't go back to MJR tml. SIAN. i start at 0930 and ends at 1130. STUPID. but..... my classmates are celebrating my birthday tml after exam. i mean in the evening. wheeeeeeee~ finally got K-BOX session! ive been like craving for dunno how many donkey years already! wahah! but.. its month end, im superbbbb budget! SIAN. andddddddd... working on SATURDAY! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ means, SUNDAYYY will be here SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! and THREEmoreDAYS! waahhaha! im super excited for sunday. and plans and plans of activities are lined up for ME this weekend! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ wahaha! Friday - OUT K`BOXing SATURDAY - Place of Joy SUNDAY - wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ wahahah! i'll SOOOON be 18! andd.... im still wondering, guessing and non-stop gues

went swimming with Evelyn this afternoon and hope to get tann. but we realised that the sun is not very strong today. ): well, and i went to the place of Joy after that. was super shock to see my colleague, *flirting with another guy from the shop opposite. but she's 27 years old and MARRIED WITH A DAUGHTER! and she invite that guy into the shop, they were sitting side by side and eeeeeeeeeeyerrrrr! she ought to have limit with guys i feel. and, i kenna bullied by idiot today. he attacked from the back lah. stupid! oh man, i cannot imagine i kenna tickled by him twice. LOL. wahaha! i shall reverenge some other day. was super tired today lah. LOL. silly idiot, he walked home from simei. wahaha. DUMB. well well well, after all the fun today, i shall study tomorrow! (: and im glad, that i had fun today! (: and.... i understand some other things too! (: wahaha!

today's paper. SIGH. another "A" gone. well, ai yah, pass can alr lah! the~ and.. after i heard christine sneeze on the phone juz now, and i think sneezing can spread on phone. HAHA. i started to sneeze alr. shit. and you know, once i start, i can't stop. LOL. and my throat is super itchy. SIAN. it EXAM period, and im getting sick? super crazy. im super duper whooper ultra tired. lol. i've not been getting enough sleep these few days. ): study, on phone, tv, online.. eeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkks! siaaaaa! tml, NO paper! YEAH! and i don't intend to study too. hahahaha. (((: rot rot rot rot rot. LOL. but SIAN. got work. ): hope Idiot won't EMO tml again. i wanna enjoy work tml! (: HHAHA. wakaka! i shall, cast all mood swing away! (: My Daddy, You love me like dunnnnnnnno wad lah! (: ThankYou for bringing great people into my life. my lovely friends, my wonderful colleagues! Daddy, shower me with more and more blessings! :D i know, im going to receive more and more lo

True Love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learing to see a imperfect person perfectly. - i quoted from HuiKia's MSN nick. it's a very nice phrase! (: i bet most of you have ever felt true love. i remembered the time when i was in a relationship. i thought it was true love. not until the day when we broke off. (: but i swear! i put love into that relationship, but too bad, it don't work out. but thanks to him, that ive learnt. that ive known what type of person i am to the people around me. and thus, i learnt to be less stronger and be more feminine. (: i remember, when i was with him, im not afraid of anything. i tend to be strong, and thus, he felt kind of stupid. HA. but eh, people, be proud of me that i dare to speak up man! but i bet, most of you got hurt at least once. i was super depressed when he brought up the break to me that day, i still remember, it was on the 2nd of December. i received his 4 pgs of sms`es. i was with Mei Hong and Jasmine at

one paper down. and guess wad? i always thought my paper starts on Tuesday, but i was dumb. okay, i don't deny. HA. its on MONDAY oh man. i know it only yesterday night. oh man~ i was dumb. HAHA. but still managable! (: plenty of matrices! HAHA. but greatly, one paper down. i was actually quite nervous this morning. cuz i was still quite shock that paper starts today. HA. and after bath, i locked myself inside my room, and i read thought the notes that i took when pastor was preeching last saturday. (: i felt less tense and then, i talk to Daddy. i told Him to bless me today with plenty of easy questions. and less careless mistake. and make sure i pass today. (: and yes, He never fail to hear my prayers. (: i know, ive wore the shoe of peace and i shall walk with victory! =D with the shoe of peace, i'll crash down devil! (: AMEN and Daddy, i won't worry anything with You around. i know You've planned everything for me and You'll bring the right one, at the right ti

went Arrow Service today! and the preeching was SUPERB great and fantastic! (: i shall someday, when im not so tired and i shall share the wonderful preeching.. (: but overall, it was GREAT! i felt his presence! ((: my Lovely Lord. when we're worshipping, i can't control my tears, and felt very nice! (: i felt peace! HAHA. i really hope my loved ones can come in with me (: and.... im more bonded with my Care Group! ((: new friends, new people, new lame`ing partner! HAHA. especially Lydia. she's sooo fun and nice. HAHA. (: and, went home with JeYew, he's 1.91m tall, Yvonne, Geraline, Nic, Joanna, Xiao Hui and one girl from JC cluster. dunno who's she. but the journey back was LOL. today was really great. the message from God was fabulous! (: and... (: I praise You, I praise You, for all my life I praise You! ((: -here i declare, im yours for all eternity! - hold my hand and whisper to me that you love me ; till the end of no time.

well, went Esplanade Library with Astro and Xiao Bai. and YEA! i finished FACOM! ((: now left 3 tutorials to revise. and, YEAH, finish revision! ((: oh yah, we were walking to the library and this lady who approach US, and in the end, I kenna. LOL. it was some survey thingy. dunno why, the more she ask me, the more HOTTER i became. LOL! okkay. then after finishing FACOM in the library, that idiot Astro trying to disturb me and in the end, we created chaos in the library. LOL. after tt, we went to look for his guitar and keyboard books. (X we then proceeded to Bugis, had late lunch and went to Bras Brasah to see guitars where he was thinking of buying. well, walked for many many hours, and he still dunno which to buy, or whether to buy or not. LOL. this two kind souls of his gave plenty of advices and xiao bai think he won't buy it today. but ive got a strong feeling that he'll get it today. (: and true enough, he gotten himself a budget and nice guitar. ((: after buying, we wal

HA. i shouldn't get so affected by the way. (: gladly, you guys should know, ive make my blog a private one. (: went Vivo with Jasmine and Astro yesterday to catch "Secret". and no doubt, we shopped around. well. it was quite good. reached home at 10 plus and was on phone with Astro till 2.30am. well.. going out to mug for exam later. eh! actually im quite fortunate leh. LOL. cuz i only got 3 papers. and one is Engine Maths. ive got a little basic and thus, its not very difficult for me. but still i need to pratise lah. LOL. but i juz need to really focus on only two sub. Facilities Mng, the teacher gave clue. soooo obvious clus alr. and Real Estate Business, only need to study 3 Tutorial. LOL! i was like, no stress. LOL! hmm.. (: the skies are blue again! (:

Grandma Hospitalised again. she is very weak. im scared. ): Dear Lord, im worried. Lord, please show Your Mercy to her. i can't lose her, neither anyone of us can. Lord, please heal her again. Father, please shower her with underserved favours. i know Lord, You will make miracles for her again. You'll make her stand, and she'll be healed. Lord, i thank You for healing her again and again. Lord, please heal her more. Cast all her illness away and make her healthy Lord. Lord, i came to You cuz i know You'll definitely bless me, including my loved ones. Lord, im going through a lot these few days. i'll rest in Your arms, and i know, in Lord i trust and i shan't worry, In Jesus Almighty name, Amen. SO MANY THINGS, SO LITTLE TIME. i can't take it. i don't want to lose any of you. sorry im tooo fucked up. i'd enough stress, im going beserk, and please, don't add on to it. i don't want to break down. i'll be strong, and friends, please don

Q & A session List out your top 5 birthday presents you wish for: 1) All my loved ones to celebrate with me. 2) A princess`s celebration 3) *you know ((: 4) No naggings for the whole week 5) Mom to at lease wish me a Happy Birtday (: Answer the following question: 1. The person who tag you is? TAN YU REN! 2. Your relationship with him/her is? Buddy! 3. Your 5 impressions of him/her. 1) Like to nag 2) Still Nag 3) forever nagging 4) Non-stop nagging 5) LOVE CO! 4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you. ehhhh let me seeeeeee... wait for me for hours in PP. WAHAH! 5. The most memorable words he/she had said to you. ehhhhh.. forgot le leh 6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will .. won't be (: 7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be .. Won't be! ((: 8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will .. KILLL HIM hahahahha! 9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be .. No lah, won't be (: 10. Your overall impression of him/her

im having sleepless night these few days. ): now, its 0630 only, and im blogging here. actually woke up at 0530. ): and thoughts filled me. Pastor said, " Blessed in the man who trust in Lord, and whose hope is in him." and thus, ive decided, to trust Lord and be blessed. "Jesus is our healing, make Him my hope and He'll nv ignore me" "im going to overcome devil, who gives me evil thoughts and cause me to emo" "cool is an attitude" -and i shall be cool and relax. therefore, i conclude, im not going to be bother, and focus on my exams. i know im not totally in the wrong, and i also know im wrong in some way or another. but ive made the first move, therefore, *** can't be bother, and i shall not be affected too. (: im COOL! *cuz cool is an attitude.

well, went to work at 7pm today. Idiot was late and Evelyn and gang came and visit me. LOL (: im fine already, my friends. (: as usual, work today was all about play. but we also talk a lot bahh. (: but really one great advice, try not to smoke. (: its always disappointing to see my friends smoking around me. ): reach home and here, blogging (: quite lame lah, but nth to do, so blog a lil loh. LOL!

i can't motivate myself to study today. was suppose to go library today but this stupid comp, hooked me and im facing this comp since morning. SIAN. whenever i wanna sit down and study, thoughts and thoughts of *** came to me. sigh. hopefully, work will be fun later, to cast all my worries away. (: anyone want to watch "Secret" with me? Dear Lord, please show mercy. all i want is to be happy. even if You feel *** not the right ***, please, heal me emotionally. Lord, please cast my worries and troubles away. please cast *** off my thoughts. Greatly Father, please motivate me. and here, i thank You for your kindness for healing me emotionally, i know, if You aren't here with me, i would have gotten more depress. Lord, i thank You, for bringing me wonderful friends, wonderful cliques, wonderful Evelyn, wonderful Jasmine, wonderful Siti, for accompany me through this. Lord, i see true friends from this. and Lord, i'll continue to wait, cuz i know, You'll bring ***

well, it wasn't as beautiful in the early part of the day. ive been sooo hardworking and went to Tampines Library to study with Siti. (: and yes, i finished what i want to study. and went TM for a walk. was suppose to watch movie today, but nvm. then, i was a bit down, and decided to go to the Heavenly place to find Joy. and greatly, it brighten up my day with laughter and fun. :D we can't stop fighting, but it was fun. Idiot and i have made Siti angry, and we never fail to cheer her up again. (: that's how wonderful we three are. non of us can really get angry with one another. LOL. ((: played with water, knock on the head when seeing taxi, made a fool out of ourselves in the bus stop, laughed, joked, teased and soo much fun. (: Overall, thanks to Siti and Idiot to make my monday a beautiful one.

well, its always like tt. it makes me confuse. ): well, i've been working 7 days this week. and im getting sick and tired of working. but today was quite good. although fought with idiot for so many times. but HAHA. he kenna bully by me. HAHA. if it wasnt like tt, i bet, the time in NZN won't be so fun. LOL. expectedly, we actually finishes work at 1020. but we slacked and talked in side the shop until 1045++ and walk slowly to the busstop. talk and talk at the bus stop until 1140 ++ and he walk to another bus stop, where will walk pass my home. and thus, i nvr call any of you to acc me home today. HAHA. but poor idiot, have to walk to another bus stop for bus. HAHA. sigh.. im really dying for "secret". sian. super confuse. JASMINE & EVELYN, thanks thanks for listening and not complaining that im sucha fuss. and thanks, for giving super much advices and comforted me. (: two of you, *MUACKS! ((: Dear Lord, here i am again, asking for Your mercy. please shower me w

finished the last REBUS project this afternoon. was super pissed while doing because of the short time we've got. but nvm, we're finished everything. i wannnnnaaa watch MOOOVVVIIEE lah. everyone commented that "Secret" is nice. I WANT! but it seems like everyone is so busy, and... nvm. (: i can't wait for exams to be over! i wanna swwwimmm and get tannnn! ((: sigh, working later. although with the disgusting idiot should be fun lah, i dunno why, i still feel ): maybe PMS? hur. went out with evelyn juz now. make her wait for 2 hours plus and we only hang out like for 1 hour plus. sorry eve )): dun worry, although you've got your squid, i still soooo love you okay?! yah ya yah, some people might jealous. JASMINE, CHRISTINE, MINMIN also lah! LOL! ((: Dear Lord, You never fail to hear my prayers, and i already know. You made my presentation sooo successful and make me complete the project on time. i know, its You who gives me strength! Thank You, my Lovely Lord. i

my blog's getting more and more readers. good or bad? you guys saw the counter at the right hand bottom? its jumping like no body's business! tell me, to stay or to move? well, Praise Lord, my i got an A for my presentation. and teacher oso commented that i showed the best presentation among my classmates. but greatly, im not the top lah. but, A is definely fine with me. ((: i wasnt so nervous before or during my presentation. but, gladly, my friends oso commented that i did catch their attention (: *LOVES! and guess wad? there'll be parent-poly meeting lah! SIAN. going to get scoldings again ): people, next time you visit my blog, do notice my blog patrol. its scary. im blogging not for popularity, but for hobby and somewhere i can rant in. ):

Rebus Project is killing me, writoral single presentation is killing me, Facom exam is killing me, tight financial is killing me, bad family treatment is killing me. Exam is two more weeks, and i catch no balls in lesson. im dead, soon dead. last month's hp bill, $107. i have no idea where the hell i use all the time. i tried to be lesser. i really tried. Work is killing me too. this week, i worked 36 hours. how NICE! Test, Exams, Work, Presentation, Projects, Financial, "nice" treatment at home, is driving me crazy. i want to fly, i want to be free. set me free, set me free. Lord, bring me to you. im going crazy. Loansharks? Cheating in exams? Pon Work? hack care project, dun go for presentations? ALL CAME TO MY MIND ONCE! FUCK! i need a break. )': from life, from everything. i wanna run, run far far away. nth seems to go smoothly for me. EVERYTHING is out of my control! FUCK! set me free, set me free. )': i want to end everything. Can i?

Kindly click at the pic, and see, how hard working my classmates are. LOL. and note the timing. almost all of them are online, doing project. SIAN.

well, get to know of 4 deaths within this week. My Condolensces to : FookGuan & Family Edmus & Family Dad's Friend & Family This shows that life is super fragile. there're stories behind each and every family. FookGuan's grandpa passed away, well, we can't predict anything. really, we thought he was recovering and felt much better after going home from hospital. who knows? Daddy Lord wants him in heaven, so, he was brought to heaven about 4 days after he went home. we had no idea on Edmus's Uncle and Auntie, but i heard that they're from different family. My Condolensces to Edmus and his family. within 3 days, they lost 2 of their love ones. Dad's Friend's Child, jump to death last night. i heard that it was because of the heavy work load in ITE. He failed his ITE and sucided yesterday mid-night. Life's Fragile people, treasure before we lose it. Okay, enough of all this depress things. shall show you guys the cam-whore procedure in NZN!

HEE HUR US Inside AirBus Random NICE? Sign Board, so big eh! HAHA! Sky Train Area FDM N703 Girls My Boarding Pass (SQ 380) Main Lobby our MUZ-carry-man-made bag Check in Belt Departure Hall ((: Overall, the T3 and A380 Study Trip was quite good. althought it was boring, and i got sick or checking in, out, boarding the AirBus in and out. first time i had the, "finally, last time on board" feeling. LOL. we've got 3 boarding pass (air ticket) for SQ 380. it says, we depart from Singapore to HongKong. LOL. but its stationary. SIAN. and YAY. its double deck plane. no much difference from normal plane actually. although its AirBus, it was very cramp. unluckily, ive got the Economy Class. ): but Praise Lord, ive at the upper deck. *NO DIFFERENCE ACTUALLY! however, Terminal 3 is huge. next time, we need to take skytrain to travel from one belt to another belt, so imagine how big is the T3. its all about Role Play today. we're playing the tou

Dear Lord, here i pray, for my dream to come true Lord, ive found one, and please Lord, please make it come true. Fatherly Lord, please bless me with courage, and cast all my timid`ness away. Lord, i prayed everynight, juz to hope prayers were heard. Lord, i thank You for the answered prayers, but this one Lord, i prayed everynight for this, Lord, please make it come true. Its so disheartening yesterday. Evelyn said its on purpose. but i feel Lord, my prediction is right. So Lord, i hope You can bring miracles to me. Lord, You've said, " Ask, and shall receive". im asking for Your Mercy and bring me ****. and i know, Trust in You and i shan't worry. Therefore, i slept well last night, no thoughts of it going through my mind. but Lord, please shower me with everlasting blessing, and please answer my this prayer. Daddy, i know, You never fail to pick me up from this super duper wooper ultra Emo situation. Lord, i sincerly pray for that. In You i trust, In Jesus Almighty

work today. and Dear Lord blessed me today with success too! ((: Rejoyce, Mom's discharging tomorrow! AMEN! ((: i had great fun during work today, play with FookGuan, play, eat and chit-chat non-stop ((: im happy, im happy, im happy! Something's going to happen! EVELYN, SITI! im SOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY! ((: WAHAHA! -you nvr fail to make me smile!- - Dear Lord, im yours for all eternity, and i thank You, for everything, for answering all my prayers, for everything Lord, i prayed for good health for my mom, and You did heal her, i prayed for somethings and its coming soon, my dream's coming soon! Lord, i thank You for showering with undeserved Blessings! in Jesus Almighty Name, Amen!

uncontrollable mood swing. I HATE it. FCUK UP!

((: there's always somethings that brighten up my day. HA! :D well, im tired, so tired. but i can't sleep. every moment i lied on the bed, i'll toss and turn, and almost going into deep sleep, and dunno why, suddenly, will like, wake up. it happened for weeks already. since my grandma in hospital. i nvr really had good sleep. although im real tired at night, but i can't fall asleep leh! kao. its a torture lah. praise the Lord, mom's juz appendics pain. (((: i think too much (: Lord, bring me the blessings to them. AMEN. AHHHHHH!!!! IM SUPERB HIGH! ((: HAHAH!HAHHAHAH!AHAHAH! -you never fail to make my day!, and i hope time will stop and let me enjoy with you.- -im yours for all eternity!

After granny got back from hospital, two weeks later, which is today, mom was admitted. well, im shan't worry, Lord will show mercy. ((: AMEN. i dunno why, super moodswing, very EMO, then very happy, then got news mom in hospital, EMO again, then think bout somethings, then bright my day. ): serious mood swing. am i going insane?